Olivia, left: “I’m sorry about what happened. We’ve all been in your shoes and it can be a painful and trying time. If you need anything, just let me know.” Betsy: “Well, I sure could use a place to stay.” Olivia: “A place to stay? Why on earth […]
Gretchen, far left, whispering to Mildred, near left: “Don’t you think there’s something a bit off about this formation?” Mildred: “Whatever do you mean? We’re lined up quite nicely and that small boy over there is already running off to let everyone know that we are promenading in […]
Navigational Tip: “PTO” stands for “Person Taking Order”, a non-denominational bit of vagueness that will allow you to visualize said order-taker in a manner that best adheres to your own experiences. And here we go… ONE PTO: “Welcomecrackintheboxyourorder?” Me: “Okay, I believe you just attempted to greet […]
And here we have another dusty case file from the days of my “Idiot Fondue” blog, wherein I posed as a snooty psychoanalyst, answering emails from actual readers posing as “patients”. Enjoy. My ebullient assistant, Lanae, just handed me this missive, and then she immediately began prepping […]
For the Driver: You are not a Divine Being. Everyone on the road does not have to do what you expect them to do. Yes, there are certain manners in which drivers should behave, universal expressions of decency that we should all embrace and support. However, mental telepathy […]
Click here to read this story from the beginning… The following events actually took place on the evening of August 21, 2009 at the “Cool Breeze” establishment on West Red Bird Lane in Duncanville, Texas. Whilst some artistic license has been allowed when it comes to the […]
Click here to read this story from the beginning… Once you open the oddly-large wooden doors of the “Cool Breeze” Beer Emporium and Bad-Taste Discotheque, you find yourself in an equally-odd vestibule of sorts, one that gives no indication as to why a vestibule is even remotely […]
Note: The following is a serialized story I scribbled out when I was just a wee bairn in the blogging word. (In fact, this one pre-dates even the “Paris Chronicles”, which eventually became the book “Screaming in Paris”, and those of you who have been with me for […]
I’m a tad late with this, but (cue minimalist fanfare) here’s my annual birthday post, based on a budding tradition that originally wasn’t meant to be a tradition. It just worked out that way. It all started with 50/50, some thoughts I shared as I hit the mid-century […]
Note: I have to report for jury duty tomorrow, which reminded me of a sordid epic I shared a decade or so ago. So, I dug into the archives, dusted things off, and vainly tried to patch up the leaky parts. (Fair warning: This is the beginning of […]
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