I’m a tad late with this, but (cue minimalist fanfare) here’s my annual birthday post, based on a budding tradition that originally wasn’t meant to be a tradition. It just worked out that way. It all started with 50/50, some thoughts I shared as I hit the mid-century […]
Note: I have to report for jury duty tomorrow, which reminded me of a sordid epic I shared a decade or so ago. So, I dug into the archives, dusted things off, and vainly tried to patch up the leaky parts. (Fair warning: This is the beginning of […]
Larry: “What fresh hell is this?” Jennie: “It appears that an army of photographers is aware of the fact that we were having a meeting with a marriage counselor. I wonder how that might have happened, He Who Can’t Keep His Mouth Shut.” Larry: “I assure you I […]
Fair warning: This little nugget has been excavated from the 2010 archives, and those of you who have been with me for a while are aware that I was exceptionally persnickety during that year… 1. The people who are coupon freaks. Okay, I’m all about saving money. […]
1. The Surly Temple This drink was originally created to placate people who confused their uptight religious upbringing (no demon alcohol!) with their natural social inclination to have a good time with their less salvation-based friends. Sadly, because the Surly Temple has no actual alcohol and did nothing […]
Ah, that time of year when the desperation factor intensifies as you search for perfect holidays gifts, venturing into high-end stores that you don’t normally frequent… 1. I clearly don’t make enough money in my life. What do people do for a living that are able to […]
Melanie was in a bit of a pickle. Her guests were due in mere minutes, and she still had several action items with which to dispense. She found this predicament to be annoyingly distressful, especially since she had planned her preparatory agenda down to the most microscopic detail, […]
Editor’s Note: As a companion piece to my recent paean to the mood swings of a Chinese Buffet experience, here is an older ode exemplifying the writer’s obsessive thoughts concerning a new breakfast option at a local cafeteria-style chain… 1. The fact that Luby’s even serves breakfast. They […]
Greetings, fellow keyboardists. This week’s Park Lark will be a bit briefer than you might normally expect from such things, mainly because I started out with one intention in mind and then I became distracted by something else. (On a related note, this perfectly describes my romantic adventures […]
Greta: “I’m so excited that we’re getting our picture taken!” Hans: “Oh, please. I’m a year older than you, and let me assure you that this will get tiresome really fast.” Greta: “You’re such a pessimist, Hans. You’re just mad because you’re wearing obscenely ridiculous shorts.” Hans: “Like […]
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