Melanie was in a bit of a pickle. Her guests were due in mere minutes, and she still had several action items with which to dispense. She found this predicament to be annoyingly distressful, especially since she had planned her preparatory agenda down to the most microscopic detail, […]
1. They both make a lot of pointless noise about nothing. 2. When you put them in the same room they all look exactly alike. 3. Both groups could float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, one for the theme and the other for the hot air and […]
New Note: Although this one is not a “traditional” Halloween story, thus violating the current holiday theme with my posts, I think the horror is real, indeed… Previous Note: I get a bit cranky with this one. (And for those of you unfamiliar with Wal-Mart, just envision “discount […]
Today was rather surreal. Well, at least part of it. Two things happened, one with more eventual impact than the other. First up, Partner and I share the same primary care physician. Said physician recently changed both his office location and his medical-group affiliation. We both like him, […]
Karen, left: “Doesn’t this make you feel pretty and special?” Archie, right: “Those aren’t quite the two words I would use. Can you explain to me again why we’re wearing these things on our faces?” Karen: “Silly, I already told you. Noses are no longer fashionable.” Archie: “How […]
The First Rule in Attracting a Decent Mate: Do not appear in settings where the wallpaper can overpower your mere existence. They have enough trouble finding you as it is. Harriet, left: “You fool, you went two steps too far before pausing to be noticed by the crowd. […]
To fully enjoy this post, you really should review the previous one, if you haven’t already… I heard the Air-Conditioning Tech Guy begin descending the attic stair-ladder deathtrap. I peeked out of the home office where I had been pretending to be busy doing whatever, in that weird […]
Today was not the best of days. The proceedings began when I was wrenched awake at the ungodly hour of 8am. Naturally, some of you will scoff at this timestamp, having already been awake for hours and having helped raise a barn in Amish country before breakfast. (You […]
Note: I’ve missed the anniversary date by a few days, but five years ago, late on the night before an anticipated ruling by the Supreme Court that could potentially change the concept of equality in America, I scribbled out this little parable, with fingers crossed… Mommy: “The end. […]
1. You whack at the alarm clock, fully intending to get another 10 minutes of sleep, and the snooze bar snaps off said clock and flops under the bed. And now the alarm won’t stop bleating, negating any short-term escape from the trials of the impending day. The […]
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