Dearest Neighbor, How are you this fine morning? I trust that you realize it is morning. Quite early in the morning, as a matter of fact. Were you aware of this? Perhaps not. Maybe you’re one of those people who leap out of bed without any concept of […]
Actress on the Left: “I’m really not comfortable posing for this picture. And I’m not talking about the crappy lighting.” Actress on the Right: “I have bills to pay. I’m not saying a word.” Left: “But we are clearly clutching phallic-symbol devices and pretending to be happy about […]
They showed up. They got their trophies. Discussion ensued. Lurlene, left, lovingly: “These cups are so pretty, just like me. Aren’t you excited that we won?” Raychelle, right, wretchedly: “It’s about as exciting as a bowel movement. We were both bound to have one today.” Lurlene, peevishly: “Don’t […]
It wasn’t until later in the evening that Philip and Marnie learned the consequences of over-indulging in the cabbage soup on the buffet line at the St. Agnes Social. Sadly, this turbulent revelation came at a most inopportune time, just as Sister Mary Edna took the stage to […]
Note: I scribbled this one out a few years ago, but it’s still rather relevant. Let’s review… I do know some things. I’m fairly hip to what’s going on in politics (although my use of the word “hip” dates me severely), I’m generally savvy about what constitutes […]
Jordan, left: “I see that you have once again misunderstood my very specific directives about our attire this evening. I hope you’re proud of yourself.” Joseph, right: “I misunderstood nothing. You said that I was to wear a formal tie and a boutonnière. I have done both, despite […]
Note: I just stumbled across this in the archives. Apparently, I was in a bit of a mood when I sat down at my laptop, which should surprise absolutely no one… 1. The people who turn left from the far-right lane. Without using a turn signal. Or slowing […]
The Old Oak Cliff Conservation League holds an annual Tour of Homes in our little neck of the woods, an event that is quite popular, with thousands of people plunking down money to analyze and criticize what other people do with their money. The attending crowd is […]
1. The parking lot. The uncontrolled behavior starts before I even get in the store. I’m one of those who doesn’t like to park anywhere near the entrances to a retail establishment, because some drivers are incredibly stupid and inconsiderate and I don’t want them maneuvering a vehicle […]
1. “Bull Durham” I love Susan Sarandon. (And she eventually got a real-life husband out of it, Mr. Tim Robbins. Yay!) But I’m not a fan of Kevin Costner. For me, he just comes across as a smarmy jock with no charisma, no matter what role he is […]
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