Therapist, left: “But you must tell me everything about all of your repressed issues. Otherwise, I will never be able to heal you and write a bestselling book about how I saved you from the depths of depravity.” Leslie: “But I can’t even look at you.” Therapist: “Are […]
Continued from a previous post. Click here to read the first session with Bexx, a client annoyed by straight people who are confused that some lesbians fancy intimate toys… “Are you still there?” inquired one of the voices on the speaker phone. “I certainly am, Bexx,” […]
Continued from the previous post. Click here to read the first session with Bexx, a client annoyed by straight people who are confused that some lesbians fancy intimate toys… Dr. Brian paused in mid-paragraph of the latest article he was perusing, something about curious dysfunctional behaviors […]
Note: This quaint little multi-part story (there are three episodes) contains some decidedly-adult language here and there. I’m sure that most of you will be fine with that, but I feel compelled to mention this in case some of you do not care to have your sensibilities ruffled […]
And here we have another dusty case file from the days of my “Idiot Fondue” blog, wherein I posed as a snooty psychoanalyst, answering emails from actual readers posing as “patients”. Enjoy. My ebullient assistant, Lanae, just handed me this missive, and then she immediately began prepping […]
Another missive from the “Idiot Fondue” archives, wherein I posed as a psychotherapist and responded to inane queries from creative readers. Enjoy. And the mailman just handed me this: Dear Dr. Brian: Sometimes I need to eat quickly and cheap, but I’m having a fast food dilemma. […]
Editor’s Note: Many thanks to the fine folks who suggested phrases for this second edition… 1. “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!” Translation: “I am completely stunned by this unexpected turn in our conversation. And since I didn’t have an adequate response I decided […]
1. “Well, sugar my foot!” Translation: “I am thoroughly astonished that what you just said is actually true. Even if it’s really not.” This is a response often heard during whispered gossip sessions at the local Baptist church. 2. “That thing just flopped back yonder.” Translation: “The item […]
Dear Dr. Brian, I was at Sonic this evening, and I had a small breakdown while trying to decide which of their designer hotdogs I should order. The Chicago? The New York? Stick with the standard foot-long chili cheese dog that they have had forever? It was […]
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