Ed, Professional Hoofer from New Jersey: “And for the last bit of the dance finale, do this little side kick and shake your moneymaker like it’s on fire.” Starlet #1, far left: “You mean our moneymakers. Plural. They generally come in a boxed set.” Ed: “No, I mean […]
Another questionable treasure from the archives… 1. The name game. You’re standing there with people you have known all your life, talking about other people you have known all your life, and suddenly you can’t remember the name of your first cousin that you have known all […]
Melva, far left: “Well, I do declare. Look at that mess over there!” Gertrude, middlin’ left: “Honey, this is New Awlins. We got mess everywhere. Which one you talkin’ ‘bout?” Melva: “Right there in front of your dadgum eyes, woman. You go off and leave you spectacles back […]
Clarissa, left: “Why, yes, Mother. I am feeling a little blue. However did you know?” Mother, always right: “Partly because I gave birth to you and I can sense your erratic mood swings. But mostly because I could hear you from the other room, sighing with the increasing […]
First there was this, one morning, with the sun still newborn Beckoning quaintly, softly, painted on a rock wall No flashy billboards in this quiet mountain town, stuffed with garishness Fake smiles filled with fake teeth, techno beats from advertising dances Here they keep it simple. This is […]
Another one from the travel archives, replete with dated cultural references… We were driving back from Santa Fe when it all went to hell, very quickly. I was in the driver’s seat, as it was my “turn”. We had been tag-teaming it every few hours or so since […]
Note: Before the concept of international travel became a fading concept with That Wretched Beast Known as Covid, we traveled to Spain quite often. In order to keep the hope alive of once again returning to said lovely country, I have yanked this travel tale from the archives. […]
Dusty archives, once again… 1. Saying “excuse me” when you sneeze, even though no one else is in the room. That’s very polite of you. It’s also slightly neurotic. But that’s okay. As long as you keep that natural reflex going, you’ll be sure to apologize at more […]
There are monkeys on top of the Rock of Gibraltar. Did you know this? I certainly didn’t. Well, that’s not entirely fair to say. One of our travelling companions, a lovely lass that I’ll call “Twyla” for now, because I haven’t mentioned to her that I might ensnare […]
Tallulah was thoroughly unimpressed with her assigned role when the cast was announced for the 1926 London premiere of “A Yankee Thanksgiving: This Is What Happens When You Defy a British Monarch and Hop on a Boat Bound for a Colony That Has No Indoor Plumbing”. The play […]
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