Left to right… Sophia: “Picture it. Sicily, 1920. A beautiful young woman is running naked through a field of golden flowers. These things happen when you have chianti for breakfast. The woman pauses to let the sun glisten on her perky bazoombas, when suddenly she is propositioned by […]
Note: Yet another snippet from my work-in-progress for NaNoWriMo (click here to read this story from the beginning), picking up right after I have reported to the headquarters of the convenience store where I worked, circa 1986. The powers-that-be wanted me to take a polygraph test, because somebody […]
Note: Taking a short break from the Quik Trip saga (half of you will be disgruntled about this, the other half will light a votive candle of appreciation) to share an older bit that the lovely Melanie excavated during her archaeological dig on my old website. This one […]
1. “Is there a particular reason why you can’t unload the dishwasher? Is it a religious issue?” 2. “That button on the DVR remote that says ‘Erase All’? What happens if you accidentally push that? And what happens if I’m the one that pushed it?” 3. “You think […]
Casa Bonita was essentially a Mexican restaurant masquerading as a theme park. It was a cavernous place that seemed to go on for miles, with multiple seating areas that had individual motifs going on, like “village square” and “tropical garden”. The absolute best place to sit was in […]
1. The name game. You’re standing there with people you have known all your life, talking about other people you have known all your life, and suddenly you can’t remember the name of your cousin that you have known all your life. It just won’t come to you. […]
1. I really hate walking on the treadmill. It’s not the treadmill’s fault. He’s really nice. It’s the concept of exercise overall. Back in the day, when I didn’t have to exercise, but actually had an abundance of energy to do it, I was much more accepting of […]
Police Officer: “Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you since you seem to be so comfortable in that position, but I do have a few questions about what happened tonight.” Comfortable Lady: “I don’t mind. I’ve never been one to shy away from confrontation. Ask away.” Officer: “Well, we […]
Corinne: “Go to Hollywood, they said. Become a big star, they promised. And it all worked out for a while, and I got to go to all the right parties. Then some fool invented talking pictures, and overnight my career tanked. Now I’m stuck doing ill-advised publicity shots […]
Before I get to the full-frontal exposition (and it’s not what you think, which will relieve most of you but will disappoint a few), I must make a few confessions. One: I’ve been a very bad boy. (This will not surprise most of you but will surprise a […]
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