1. I really shouldn’t have had that ginormous Cobb Salad this afternoon. I enjoyed the hell out of it, but the ensuing personal propulsion, so to speak, is knocking me off balance and I can’t walk from room to room with any degree of grace. Damn you, fiber! […]
Prosecuting Attorney: “If it pleases the court, I’d like to present this photo as exhibit A.” Judge Crotchbump: “It doesn’t matter if it pleases me or not. You’re an attorney. You present things, I make a ruling about the quality of your presentation based on the 700 years […]
Some Woman That Is Not Lucy: “And here’s a bit of coffee that can work better than Viagra if you would just let go of your psychological speed bumps.” Desi: “Who the hell are you?” Not Lucy: “I come from the future. But don’t think about it too […]
Lucy: “Oh, look at this. There’s a huge pile of photographers over there, something you promised wouldn’t happen if we flew economy to Palm Springs Airport.” Desi: “Now, now, mi bambina. I can’t control everything. Don’t get so agitated. Sometimes I swear you’re more Latina than I am.” […]
Bob: “There’s this new thing they’re inventing, it’s called television. I think you should give it a try.” Lucille: “Gee, I don’t know. You think I’d be any good at it?” Note: This is part of an on-going experiment at Bonnywood. Details found here.
Hey, folks. I’m intending for this to be a rather short Clam Bake this eve, but we all know that I tend to ramble and things, often very quickly, get startlingly out of hand and suddenly we have a 17-page analysis of how the simple intention of purchasing […]
Note: This list is actually from two years ago, but the song remains the same, for the most part… 1. Car manufacturers will finally develop a special button for your dashboard which, when pushed, will cause the car in front of you at the drive-thru ATM, wherein the […]
1. You watch a TV show that you’re not all that interested in just because you’re too exhausted to figure out how to get to that Guide channel on the new remote that your partner keeps swapping out every two weeks. (Why must we always have new ones? […]
Jedediah, left: “Oh, good form with the jump. Excellent execution, I must say.” Stephanie: “Why, thank you. I rather enjoyed it. Especially when the wind gusted up and I got a zing on my bing.” Jedediah: “You got a who on your what?” Stephanie: “Perhaps I should clarify […]
Mary Pickford: “I’m sorry, what did you say?” Mirror: “I said that you really shouldn’t leave the house wearing such a mess. Especially if you plan to flop your hands around like that. You’re not six years old anymore, honey.” Mary: “But I’m America’s Sweetheart!” Mirror: “Well, you […]
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