Casa Bonita was essentially a Mexican restaurant masquerading as a theme park. It was a cavernous place that seemed to go on for miles, with multiple seating areas that had individual motifs going on, like “village square” and “tropical garden”. The absolute best place to sit was in […]
1. The name game. You’re standing there with people you have known all your life, talking about other people you have known all your life, and suddenly you can’t remember the name of your cousin that you have known all your life. It just won’t come to you. […]
1. I really hate walking on the treadmill. It’s not the treadmill’s fault. He’s really nice. It’s the concept of exercise overall. Back in the day, when I didn’t have to exercise, but actually had an abundance of energy to do it, I was much more accepting of […]
Police Officer: “Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you since you seem to be so comfortable in that position, but I do have a few questions about what happened tonight.” Comfortable Lady: “I don’t mind. I’ve never been one to shy away from confrontation. Ask away.” Officer: “Well, we […]
Corinne: “Go to Hollywood, they said. Become a big star, they promised. And it all worked out for a while, and I got to go to all the right parties. Then some fool invented talking pictures, and overnight my career tanked. Now I’m stuck doing ill-advised publicity shots […]
Before I get to the full-frontal exposition (and it’s not what you think, which will relieve most of you but will disappoint a few), I must make a few confessions. One: I’ve been a very bad boy. (This will not surprise most of you but will surprise a […]
A long time ago and far away (okay, it was eight years ago and in a neighboring town), I ran a blog series that seemed like a great idea at the time. The following ludicrous artifact is the first installment in that questionable effort. This one runs a […]
Another missive from the “Idiot Fondue” archives, wherein I posed as a psychotherapist and responded to inane queries from creative readers. Enjoy. And the mailman just handed me this: Dear Dr. Brian: Sometimes I need to eat quickly and cheap, but I’m having a fast food dilemma. […]
Lucy: “Oh, look at this. There’s a huge pile of photographers over there, something you promised wouldn’t happen if we flew economy to Palm Springs Airport.” Desi: “Now, now, mi bambina. I can’t control everything. Don’t get so agitated. Sometimes I swear you’re more Latina than I am.” […]
The lovely Claudette posted a piece about creating your own words, which reminded me of this bit of wrongness tucked in the archives. Enjoy. 1. Frigi-Daze The concept of opening the refrigerator and staring forlornly at the contents, unable to make a decision about what it is that […]
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