Corinne: “Go to Hollywood, they said. Become a big star, they promised. And it all worked out for a while, and I got to go to all the right parties. Then some fool invented talking pictures, and overnight my career tanked. Now I’m stuck doing ill-advised publicity shots […]
Before I get to the full-frontal exposition (and it’s not what you think, which will relieve most of you but will disappoint a few), I must make a few confessions. One: I’ve been a very bad boy. (This will not surprise most of you but will surprise a […]
A long time ago and far away (okay, it was eight years ago and in a neighboring town), I ran a blog series that seemed like a great idea at the time. The following ludicrous artifact is the first installment in that questionable effort. This one runs a […]
Another missive from the “Idiot Fondue” archives, wherein I posed as a psychotherapist and responded to inane queries from creative readers. Enjoy. And the mailman just handed me this: Dear Dr. Brian: Sometimes I need to eat quickly and cheap, but I’m having a fast food dilemma. […]
Lucy: “Oh, look at this. There’s a huge pile of photographers over there, something you promised wouldn’t happen if we flew economy to Palm Springs Airport.” Desi: “Now, now, mi bambina. I can’t control everything. Don’t get so agitated. Sometimes I swear you’re more Latina than I am.” […]
The lovely Claudette posted a piece about creating your own words, which reminded me of this bit of wrongness tucked in the archives. Enjoy. 1. Frigi-Daze The concept of opening the refrigerator and staring forlornly at the contents, unable to make a decision about what it is that […]
Original Take. Henri La Moutarde, the trendy clothing designer, made an error in judgement with his latest line of fashions. People were simply unable to breathe whilst wearing them, assuming they could even get the bondage-gear on in the first place. In this unused shot from the launch […]
Original Take. Despite their best interrogation techniques, the police were unable to get any information from the Banded-Barrel Gang concerning how all this demon liquor was smuggled into the nightclub… Rewind, Take Two. Mike Pence, Donald Trump and Sarah Mascara Sanders address a closed-door meeting of Republican […]
2000 B.C. – 999 A.D.: The Native Americans live peaceably for thousands of years. Sure, a few of the tribes were a bit violent, but this pales in comparison to the religious persecutions that were all the rage in the Old World. (“I have the religious right to […]
Note: Freely admitting that this one gets a little absurd, even for me, which is why I heart it greatly. Fasten your seatbelts and enjoy the ride… Documentary Narrator: “As they dig through the musty archives of the long-abandoned Folly Beach library, the investigative team made a surprising […]
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