As promised in the last post, here we go with a bit of a flashback… Once again, this week’s Park is essentially going to be about me, which should come as no surprise to anyone who has ever read anything I’ve ever written. Still, there’s at least […]
Dearest Friends, Casual Acquaintances, and Past Lovers Who Pine for Me Endlessly (at least in my imagination): Some of you are aware that my tormented soul was tormented even further by an unplanned (and unbudgeted) root canal a mere three days ago. (If you are not aware, all […]
Note: This is the final bit in the ongoing story concerning my experience as a potential juror. You can find the beginning of the story here… The mousy little judge recovers from the startling announcement that we have a wanted felon in the house, and she quickly […]
Edwina: “Are you sure that we’re doing this right?” Bud: “Of course. I read all about it on the Internet. This is how you have safe sex.” Edwina: “But something seems a bit off. This is nothing like what happened in all those young adult novels I read […]
Harry, far left: “Now, son, this might not sound too good, but we had to sell you off so we could pay the internet bill. This here nice man is gonna take you for a while until we figure somethin’ else out.” George, supposedly Nice Man: “We’re gonna […]
1. Car manufacturers will finally develop a special button for your dashboard which, when pushed, will cause the car in front of you at the drive-thru ATM, wherein the occupant is taking forever to make a simple transaction, to be hurled into the blazing hell of the sun. […]
Left to right… Sophia: “Picture it. Sicily, 1920. A beautiful young woman is running naked through a field of golden flowers. These things happen when you have chianti for breakfast. The woman pauses to let the sun glisten on her perky bazoombas, when suddenly she is propositioned by […]
Note: Yet another snippet from my work-in-progress for NaNoWriMo (click here to read this story from the beginning), picking up right after I have reported to the headquarters of the convenience store where I worked, circa 1986. The powers-that-be wanted me to take a polygraph test, because somebody […]
Note: Taking a short break from the Quik Trip saga (half of you will be disgruntled about this, the other half will light a votive candle of appreciation) to share an older bit that the lovely Melanie excavated during her archaeological dig on my old website. This one […]
1. “Is there a particular reason why you can’t unload the dishwasher? Is it a religious issue?” 2. “That button on the DVR remote that says ‘Erase All’? What happens if you accidentally push that? And what happens if I’m the one that pushed it?” 3. “You think […]
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