Tag: Vintage

Past Imperfect – #462

Ramon: “My love, I don’t quite understand why my affections don’t have you on the verge of ovulation.” Evelyn: “Really? Well, let me help you out a bit, although I’m not quite sure where to start. Oh, screw that, let’s start with you doing everything you can to […]

Past Imperfect – #451

Cary: “You know, there are rumors about me being gay, especially when it comes to playing slap and tickle with a certain roommate I had back in the day.” Jimmy: “Well, there are rumors about me refusing to play slap and tickle with certain socialites with far too […]

Past Imperfect – #558

Carole, reviewing the proposed advertisement: “Don’t you find this to be a little bit… insipid?” Carole’s Agent: “Of course not. Don’t all women want to be dainty and clean? This ad is doing a public service, really.” Carole: “Oh, please. Like women don’t know how to sluice the […]

Past Imperfect – #502

Gracie learned at a young age that most people were completely useless, and that the only way to have a satisfactory life was to avoid those fools entirely. And keep reading books…   Originally posted in “Crusty Pie” on 03/10/17. No changes made. And yes, I had the […]

Past Imperfect – #503

Mary, left: “I’m so excited about getting to be in a Mack Sennett picture!” Marie, right: “Oh, is that what we’re doing? I thought I was waiting in line to get past the velvet rope at a Steampunk-Goth nightclub.” Mary: “That means nothing to me. But I will […]

Past Imperfect – #347

Becky Thatcher: “I sure as hell ain’t goin’ up there.” Tom Sawyer: “But Huck said all the answers we ever wanted is at the top of those stairs.” Becky: “Huck is a twit. That’s what he gets for runnin’ around barefoot all the time. The stupid just sucks […]

Past Imperfect – #150

Lady on the Left: “Girl, what’s up with that humongous thing on your head and the Bible nestled in your safety-dance zone? I was pretty proud of my Napoleon-tribute hat-wear until you came along.” Lady on the Right: “If you must know, I’m just trying to be closer […]

Past Imperfect – #180

Millicent had a very serious misunderstanding about the concept of cross-pollination…   Originally posted in “Crusty Pie” on 04/27/15 and “Bonnywood Manor” on 04/12/16. No changes made. As some of you may have noticed, I’ve been a bit AWOL, partly because I’m on a vision quest to reevaluate […]

Past Imperfect – #248

Out of desperation, Marie-Claudette tried sending 500 volts of electricity into her roommates to see if it would make them less boring and infantile. It did not.   Originally posted in “Crusty Pie” on 06/13/15 and “Bonnywood Manor” on 04/18/16. No changes made. (Personal side-note to Claudette Maree, […]