Tag: writing

Past Imperfect – #304

Buster: “Why are you looking at me like that?” Marceline: “Don’t be simple. Is there something you need to tell me?” Buster: “I can’t imagine what. I share everything with you. You’re my best friend.” Marceline: “Not everything. I found your stash of pornography involving carnal mimes.” Buster: […]

Past Imperfect – #160

Tea Party Handbook – Manly Edition, Section 42, Clause B: “This is the proper position that your wife should assume when you arrive at home after a long day of doing everything you can to ensure that white, conservative, misogynistic men rule the planet. She is not allowed […]

Past Imperfect – #189

I tried to wash that man right out of my hair, just like the song says, but I ran into a few complications. One, I couldn’t find the right shampoo at Walgreen’s. (Exactly what ingredient should you look for? Essence of Man-Gone? Botanical Banishment? Pregnancy-Scare Prunes?) Somebody really […]

Past Imperfect – #86

Delilah was in a woeful state, plagued by many troubling issues. She had recently lost her job due to a misunderstanding about the proper time for alcohol consumption. She had lost her favorite boyfriend because she didn’t realize that she was only supposed to have one. And most […]

Past Imperfect – #431

Sadie: “I suppose I could do that. How much are you willing to pay me?” Nigel: “I didn’t say anything about paying you.” Sadie: “Then I didn’t say anything about doing it.” Nigel: “But I have leverage on you, my dear. I know what you did with that […]

Past Imperfect – #226

Members of the Gamma Alpha Upsilon fraternity attend Mardi Gras, 1938. Left to right… Fedora: “I really tried to get in the spirit of things with my frat brothers, but at the last minute my rigid Southern Baptist upbringing ruined it all. I have a feeling I’m going […]

Past Imperfect – #339

Man on the Left: “I do believe someone is trying to get your attention.” Woman on the Right: “And I do believe I’m trying to ignore her.” Hair in the Middle: “Darling, you can’t ignore me. I run this place, and it’s my responsibility to make sure that […]

Past Imperfect – #264

Lady on the Left: “Wow. That’s some really interesting needlepoint you’re doing there.” Lady on the Right: “Why, thank you. I’m making a commemorative swatch of the night I killed my husband.” Left: “How fascinating. May I ask a question?” Right: “Of course. I just admitted to taking […]